takingsparks:

rinmae:

an0m0ly:

Damage

This is not my usual post. But it’s something I had to share. As you read this, imagine how your reaction would differ if this story were being told by a woman, talking about how her husband treated her.

I have been separated from my wife for over a year, though we continue to share a house. We live on separate floors. We share the house because we need to parent our son together, and because we can’t afford to maintain two households.

I’d like to tell you a story, illustrating one reason why I am divorcing her. This is an example of the treatment I have received over the past fourteen years.

This evening, while she was drinking her wine, my estranged wife took exception to the fact that I wanted to talk about how tense she’s been. She said she didn’t want to talk about it.

I left the room (so as to comply with her request).

I went upstairs to use our tiny guest bathroom. She began to yell and throw things around the kitchen, then eventually charged up the stairs and into the bathroom, just as I was finishing and getting ready to leave. She confronted me there, holding her half-full wine glass in her hand. Her voice got louder, her gestures wilder. 

She complained that I had upset her by wanting to talk when she had told me she didn’t want to talk. As I began to feel uncomfortable, I said, “You’re saying it’s my fault you can’t express your emotions responsibly like an adult?”

She said, “Yes!! It’s because you want to go off and take a vacation with your girlfriend!” Then she threw the contents of her glass in my face and smashed it against my bare chest.

The results are pictured here.

I stood there, with shattered glass at my feet, glass shards sticking in my skin, bleeding, for five minutes or so. I asked her to move so that I could leave. She waved the broken stem of the glass in the air and said, “Leave!! Who’s stopping you?”

I told her she was standing between me and the door. I felt threatened. 

She laughed and said, “You’re 6 foot 3 and 250 pounds! You can’t feel threatened by me!”

I said, “You just broke a glass on my chest and cut me. You’re standing there with the stem in your hands. Yes. I feel threatened.”

She said, “No, you don’t.”

I asked her to move out of the way and let me pass. I didn’t want her to think I was pushing her or threatening her.

She held her ground, waved the broken stem and shouted, “Go on! Leave! I’m not stopping you!”

After I asked her repeatedly, she finally moved a bit and I left, carefully stepping over the broken glass.

I have posted this here as evidence, and to help those who may think that size and gender make a difference when abuse is concerned. People who, like my estranged, think some have permission to feel threatened and some don’t.

Abusers come in all sizes and genders.

She and I went to a half dozen therapists over the years. At each initial session, every therapist took a look at me, then at her (5’4” 150 lbs.). Then he or she would gravely ask my wife, “Do you feel safe?”

None ever thought to ask me.

Thanks for listening.

eXCUSE ME

BUT IM REBLOGGING THIS BECAUSE MEN NEED JUST AS MUCH SUPPORT AS WOMEN DO.

Abuse is abuse.

It doesn’t matter who it is, how big they are, or their gender.

It’s wrong.

killette:

“How will your tattoos look when you’re old?!”
Pretty fucking bad ass apparently.

(Source: thievinggenius)

lesleypowers:

stayawakebuyamilkshake:

wildwildeyes:

bookshop:

teiledesganzen:

ronstormer:

effinglioness:

ninjabrianhasanstd:

mortallyfoolish:

Elle Woods was hollering back before the movement. This is why i love this movie. It’s so progressive. Elle is a femme feminist who comes by it the hard way. She doesn’t change for the bookish people, the elitists, or for the feminists. She just does what she needs to do, and what she wants, even when at first it was chasing a boy. Then the movie drops the romance. IT DROPS THE ROMANCE. chick flicks don’t do that. Emmett asking her out is a footnote at the very end. And this whole time, she is classy, and lady like, and has pride in herself and her work. She’ll go to a costume party as a playboy bunny, but like hell will she sleep with her professor for an internship. Elle is my feminist role model

Same.

Elle Woods 4ever

I remember listening to my DAD defend Legally Blonde. An uncle was saying “Oh look, it’s that stupid movie again.” as he flipped through the channels. My dad responded with “Oh yeah, that movie where the blonde girl with great grades works really hard to get into pre-law, studies hard and proves herself to her peers and bosses while maintaining her integrity and not sleeping with her boss? What a terrible message to send girls.”

Also, I love this movie because Reese Witherspoon. 

And don’t forget that she has serious female friends and wins the case by way of her specialist knowledge of so-called “feminine things” that no one else takes seriously enough to even bother with.

The movie also passes the Bechdel test.

LET’S NOT FORGET that even though it starts with a situation where two girls are rivals for the same guy, they BOTH choose to ignore the social codes (and hollywood bylaws) that tell them they should be cat-fighting and trying to one-up each other, and instead they realize that they make good working partners and better friends and screw rivalry, AND ALSO HAVE EACH OTHER’S BACKS RE: WORKPLACE SEXUAL HARASSMENT. And that it portrays sororities as places where women can learn to work together and respect each other and help each other out, which sets the stage for the way Elle treats everyone she meets for the rest of the movie. OH AND IT HAS A FAT SIDE CHARACTER WHO OVERCOMES EMOTIONAL ABUSE, IS NEVER FAT-SHAMED OR USED AS THE BRUNT OF A FAT JOKE, AND LANDS THE HOTTEST MAN IN THE ENTIRE FILM. 

Also, Elle still stays true to herself in a professional setting. Even when it’s tough for her, she always keeps being her bubbly, peppy self. She doesn’t let what others say about her stop her from being a kickass lawyer that also is unafraid to express herself how she wants to.

I need to rewatch this film because I can’t remember it being like this omfg

Have just text my girlfriend requesting a sleepover with popcorn and PJs and hair braiding and Legally Blonde and also making out, because I am perennially a 14yr old girl.  Thanks for continually supplying me with date ideas, Tumblr. 

(Source: jasonnywithnochance)